The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
OPIZZABONMYDICK
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
