"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dignity is for republicans.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Do you remember whose house we're in?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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