She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
