We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
