sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
