did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
