Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize