U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
