He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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