I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
