Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
