around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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