I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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