I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
