No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
