We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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