Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
