So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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