He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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