she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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