Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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