On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
