One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
