So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
