Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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