Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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