Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
