Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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