He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
