Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
