You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
