i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
