Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
