Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
