I can tuck mytits in my pants
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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