Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
