Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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