Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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