dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize