I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
