we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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