If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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