wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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