Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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