do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
