At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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