Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
