singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
