Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
