fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
