fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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