You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
