he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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