sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
