I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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