I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
