I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
