I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
