So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
