You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The beer is more important than you right now.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
