he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
