drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
