3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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