Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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