So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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