Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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